Life is strange sometimes. It is strange that you could find the most real feelings and emotions with a person that you will never be with...
Every time when I want to tell you something and you are not here, I am writing you a letter or a poem in a small notebook.. but this morning I decided not to write in the notebook, because I am so thirsty and eager to share myself with you, at least virtually, to tell you how you make me feel.
Let me tell you about all the times when your words, said in the right time when everything seems to collapse over my head made me dance happily in my mind all day .
I have read that there are meetings in life that the souls determine to happen long before they happen. Probably that is the reason why we met, my soul wanted you to happen to me like a rebirth, like a beginning of a new life, new emotions... and you came to me like a distraction, like a sacred madness, like a fire in which I left my heart and my whole being to burn. You are destroying and rebuilding at the same time everything inside me ... destroying the fences of fear and building beautiful gardens of feelings and emotions.. burning the expectations of tomorrow, as we can never have our tomorrow, but giving me the joy of the present moment, the joy of each of the 86400 seconds that I could spend with you...and the hope for the future.
I know that such fire, if you let it burn, will make you all to ashes.
Sometimes I feel as if I created my own fairytale, but then the feeling of you appears so bright and real as it happened I wrote to you last time, as if this feeling wants to remind me how real is the path that you turned out to be for me... A path showing me the right way to happiness, even when this happiness will be shared with somebody else...
During the past year my closest friends were telling me how difficult will be for me to live like this. But the fact is that it is not hard at all. My life has changed a lot, I have changed a lot... and the only thing missing in my life is your physical presence. I miss your presence and your warmth, your scent, your eyes, your chin, your smile, your approach to life...That new girl in me will always remember what you did for her, how you wake her up to feel again, to wish to experience new things and to fight for her happiness.
I know that there is a possibilty that we never meet again and I really hope that you will have all the happiness in the world, and your beautiful 86400 seconds every day. I am having mine also, enjoying all the little things, like you tought me....
and you are in my thoughts... always!
